I realized now that I am not made for regular office work. My kind of work is something else , where there is no interruptions from outside, nobody should control me and nobody is my manager or supervisor.
All through my academic years I was stressed more towards technical studies and it was incepted in my mind that my career choice can be either a doctor or an Engineer. Though I was good in studies and enjoyed learning them but somewhere there was an artist in me, let it be performing, painting or music.
But whenever I was amused and inclined more to them I was overtaken by my studies, career goals and family pressure. Yes there are students who excel in both..but I am talking of taking either of them seriously. And like me being on safer side many of us has killed the inner artist in us. The later approach has lot of struggle but it do provide the inner satisfaction that is unexplainable. And I am a pure artist from my heart, which I came to realize now. I am not getting joy and fun in what I am doing for my bread and butter.
But for the survival I am bound to do the rotten work and move ahead without any clue in my life what I want to do. I seriously need a deep introspection and then a perfect role model of something new that I really want to do and gives me complete satisfaction as well. But is it "Too late for me?"
It requires lot of time and patience Busty Vixen!!
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