Why??

"It hurts when you miss someone but it feel good to know you are getting missed"  --- A.N.  aka Rakesh

Brother,every time you followed and admired your elders,
Then why left us to carry your weight on our shoulders?

You had the great sportsman spirit and loved cricket,
Then why the hell so early you had lost your wicket?

What about the promises that were made by you?
Who will now make those dreams come true?

Had you sang,danced and played, at last to fly?
And made us remember all of them and cry....

You had made us proud many a time
We hadn't clapped, was that our crime?

You're gone,even now i am not able to believe,
Wished if it had been again one of your mischieve

Just pray you come again, argue with me and make a call,
And say "whatever Bhaiyya, between you and me, i am tall!!"

You might be happy on getting missed,
You will come back,till last time i wished....


--- In remembrance of my brother A.N. aka Rakesh.

                                            1 Aug 1989 - 14 Oct 2010

Irony

Some or the other time we face some irony in our life...
Here i am going to describe one such incident with my bestest friend

When I receive your phone,
And speak in decent tone.
you say to me "Ears pinching, don’t shout.”,
"Your voice is like head of marching scout."
What else I can do ,I start to whisper,
like with the gentle breeze, leaves wither.
On that u say “be a little loud.”,
I guess u r in between a crowd.
Now I get into dilemma what tone to use,
be loud or soft, I totally get confuse.
While I’m in thinking process, there comes a sound,
"Where r u? Speak something",& I become dumb found.
Hearing this when I say "Look, how u shouted, can you rate?"
Voice comes as "Who me? How can I? My voice is so delicate!!".
On this I pull my hair , like a mad,
Thinking even my voice is not so bad.
Finally I find a calm place to talk,
where while murmuring I can also walk.
From my tone one can say as if I m in some FEAR,
But I’ve no issues, till it’s for friend who's too DEAR.

Udaan...

Although i am not a movie critic , and even if i would have been who might have cared about my thoughts over a movie.
But here i can't resist myself writing upon a movie which really touched me and i m sure like me, many of us can relate ourselves with the movie.

The basic idea in movie is how the hell lot of areas and hobbies where a child think of going one step further more and take it seriously as their career driven substance is easily wiped away by parents sometime due to their ignorance or having a traditional thought of making their child either an engineer or Doctor.

Again at some point of our life we feel disconnected from our parents and develop a lot of misunderstandings between us which i admit shown in a bit different way in movie,which might not be common to general,though idea remains the same.

Here the main protagonist is a boy who had good writing skills and want to pursue it as his career, but thrown to Engineering college by his father(who himself is much frustrate being alone in life) as an outrage of the scandal done by him in his school even after requesting time and again for letting him be a writer which his father consider as a cheap job , that will not even fetch him earn his bread & butter.

I guess there are many of us who had their own field of creativity in them and they have even carved a peculiar niche of theirs while being in school but couldn't seriously convert it to their career due to similar situations and finally we get concerted to engineers or something else.

As story continues the boy couldn't concentrate on his engineering and continues with his passion till he get failed in engineering. In between he tried many times to persuade his father to listen to his poetry and praise him like others do, but instead of encouraging he call it a scrap.Many of us might have gone through such phase with parents. But surely not gone through this phase of daring act to follow our dream instead of imposed one as after the parental wish and pressure we became a kind of scapegoat and sacrifice our interest and skill.
We don't dare like the boy who continued his interest rather than imposed academics on him. Although what i describe as coward act is right in one way that with this we can at least make our future somewhere  instead of falling in between the two stools.

Which finally happened to the boy. After being failed and getting reasons behind it, his father burnt his notebook where he used to write. And asked him to just work for him in his factory. He had none other option and had to work like a worker.
In his extreme painful life his local and school friends gave him a sense of relief. Even his step brother whom he used to hate earlier became his companion. And this is the age when parental thought seems to be imposing on us and the plans , dreams that we weave with our friends become our reality. At this child age we find some gap between us and parents,which is what i am sure many  of has experienced.

Finally the boy run away from home to find his own destination , his own life , his own big leap(Udaan) trying to give wing to his dream!!

P.S. The recent success and awards to UDAAN at all Indian film festivals really proves how nice the movie is and people are able to connect with it. 
Sharing some pictures and a film fest brochure of it:

Papa.. Please come soon...

I visited a play school last weekend and saw children reading, playing , enjoying each and every moment without being concerned for any thing and unaware of any problem in the world. And this is the best part of childhood.Minds are true and we enjoy each and everything from the core of our heart. No artificial expressions, no hidden intentions.
Suddenly i saw a child distributing toffees in his class, it was his birthday i guess.And this reminded me one of the incidents of my childhood which made me smile and nostalgic simultaneously...

I was in class 2nd then , and as i wake up one day my mom greeted me "Happy Birthday" and that reminded me that twas my birthday that day.
I started jumping on the bed drawing all pictures in my mind of people wishing me in school and then about party in night..but then papa came and shouted for getting ready for school. But i continued jumping on bed having in my mind "I dont care.. Its my birthday today."Seeking this papa just lifted me from bed and put me directly in bathroom tub , all my fantacies flushed away by splash of water all around. Anyways i started preparing for school which was much easier and better than todays office preparation.Although mummy told me to wear something casual today but i preferred school dress only as i loved it very much.
A navy blue half pant nicely ironed , with school belt already in it, half white shirt and small tie with knot already there. (so no time got wasted in making knot or putting belt all around the buckles of pant). And finally small black rexin shoes and socks which was most difficult for me to wear.
While leaving for school i asked mummy for the toffees that i would distribute to my classmates,she said "papa will buy it from the shop while leaving you school." But while on the way when papa hadn't stopped @ shop i inquired about toffees he said its getting late for the school and he will come again in recess with toffees and chocolates. I got a bit disappointed as twas a kind of rule in class that b'day boy/girl distribute toffees in Class teacher's period only and that was 1st period. I told papa that i have to distribute in 1st period only,he said he will talk to teacher.
After the prayers(where i got wishes from some of my close friends who were near to me in prayer line), our classteacher closed the book, looked straight at me and called me to the front of the class. I acted coy, just like the other boys/girls who’d gone through this routine on their birthdays, but in effect, I simply lapped up all the attention, even took my time getting to the front of the class.Everybody clapped and sang b'day song. I was blushing as if it was my marriage ceremony. Then teacher instructed whole class to be in class only in recess as i will distribute the toffees.
I used to sit with a girl then (as per system of my class not by my choice), she said to me in 2nd period, your papa will not come now, i know. I just plucked her braid hardly, she started shouting. I left her only after the intervention of teacher. And techer hadnt slapped me for this as i was having my b'day that day. But got scolded too much.Suddenly what that girl said was in the mouth of many classmates of mine and i felt very bad.I was about to cry.
I was waiting eagerly for the recess when papa will come with toffees and i will show them look here he is and will give that girl only 1 toffee(usually it was 2 per children). And periods too were looking more longer than any other day. Finally recess came and i asked permission from teacher to go outside and meet my papa.Teahcer said in bad tone, stay here only, peon will inform if there is somebody.
Sitting in class with my Lunch box in front of me but not willing to eat anything and surrounded by my classmates staring at me with suspicion and teasing expression in there eyes.I was murmuring "PAPA , please come soon, please , please ,please.....". Prayed to god also"God please send PAPA soon...".
Now recess was near to over,and teacher said to class "those who want to go can go from class for drinking water or for toilet."As if teacher was also teasing that your papa will not come.I was thinking why PAPA hadn't came and thought of shouting big this time on him.Finally the bell rang signifying the end of the recess. And with this i started crying a lot, teacher came and consoled me but i was weeping continuously with my heads down on my seat.
Suddenly a hand whose warmth i can recognise shrouded over my shoulder and as i raised my head it was my PAPA, i shouted 'PAPA!!!'. He had brought two full packets of plastic bag bursting with toffees and chocolates. And like in morning I started jumping again but this time nobody shouted at me. :) Papa handed over me the packets and i turned to show it to whole class which was a minute ago teasing me.PAPA left saying come back home via school bus i will be on duty so couldnt come to receive you after school.The post recess period was postponed a bit for the celebration of my b'day.
I was happy again and added to my joy teacher again made the class sing the b'day song.I grinned from ear to ear, not knowing where to look, while the class went through the birthday chorus. When the applause had subsided, I sashayed through the rows handing out two toffees to each boy/girl, and holding out the bag to the teacher, so she could take as many as she wanted. Which was usually one. And then, as classmates before me had done, I pulled out a fistful and pushed it into her hand while she protested initially, and then, accepted with a sigh.Finally after the school was over,the dozen or so toffees left were reduced to wrappers by the time the school bus reached my lane where my home was.....

Incredible Allahabad.....Some shocking facts!!!

The four year of hardwork (read timepass, which i regret today ) for earning my bachelors degree was done in sacred city of Allahabad. Though all through these 4 years i have visited to all such places for what Allahabad is famous for , but here i am going to share some very different experience of mine with some different kind of people who shared some amazing information with me and also left some impression on me to be remembered by me in my following years, i guess even native Allahabadis will get more knowledge about their own city and some degree of raise in eye brow expected....



1).Agrawal Bag House, Indira Bhavan: All my three years in college gone without having a bag , dont knw why i felt taking a bag in last year. After doing inquiry localites there suggested me the Agrawal Bag House @ Indira Bhavan Civil Lines. When I reached there , it was an old man with an age of 60+ welcomed me.He showed me variety of college bags with diffrent looks and designs. After i chose one , he said i was sure that you will chose this one only. I asked how? He said he applied "Theory of Probability" in it based upon his previous customers choices. I was shocked a bag shop owner talking of Praobability and mathematics which even i was not sure if i know(even after being an engineer). He told me he was mathematics professor in University and just took family business after retirement from teaching. He then cited many examples wherein he applied mathematics to come upon some result. He said my business is flourishing because of Application Mathematics that other competitor of mine lose. Based upon customers behaviour he recollects the data and provide them the variety they want. I felt howcome such experiment is happening at such a small place in world and it should be publicized to benefit other shopkeepers too but then suddenly i thought not all shopkeepers are University teachers , specially of Maths. So better leave the idea...
But the biggest joke is, next day when friends of mine saw me with the bag they thought i got serious into studies :).

2).Laundry Shop, Ashok Nagar : I inquired rate of dry cleaning a jacket to a laundry shopkeeper (age 80+) in a shopping centre near Circuit House, Ashok Nagar. It was much higher then expected. On inquiring the reason he told the kind of dry cleaning process he do is of international quality level. (listening such thing from such an old man and that too in Alld is really shocking). Anyways , when i asked how? he told he uses white petrol instead of local one that other cheap laundryman use(as told by him , i dont know the real fact). And in full Alld he was the only registered person to have that petrol as it required Govt. Licence and registratiion to have it. Also he told that every weekend he import the same from New delhi, and his final dialogues made my mouth wide open "Ye petrol ya to Aeroplane me use hota hai , ya fir meri shop me!!"

3).Pankaj Omlette Shop, Bairahna : Although Bairahna is famous for shiv chat bhandar and Dehati's Gulab jamun but in one of its corner there is one Pankaj Omlettewallah with his small lorry. He serves boiled eggs , omlettes and fried rice with boiled egg or omlette. He guarantees if you dont enjoy it while eating dont give the money. Although I have no such muse to eggs(as i have not tasted them much and restriction from family being an orthodox brahmin) and that time i had just started eating boiled eggs due to so much pressure from my friends & to avoid too much cold in winters as in hostel we were not provided with much facilities. But i hadnt found the taste very great untill one of my friend made me eat it at Pankaj's.Eating hot,spicy boiled egg in winter have its own charm... apart from his shop i am not able to eat omlette anywhere else as it taste me so bad

4)Baba & Gunjan Dhaba , Naini : I have not tasted Kaju korma like theirs anywhere in world. As per the Baba(owner of Baba ka dhaba) , truck drivers from MP , Bihar and even Bengal came to have dinner at his joint. Truck drivers there said they plead from their owners to provide such destination for transport which goes through Dhaba's way. The non veg of Gunjan dhaba as i heard from my non veg friend is one of the best in Alld. Some people compare it with Jayshankar dhaba in Ashok Nagar but on 1 to 10 if Baba is 8 then Jay shankar is certainly 2. See the difference.. better go and taste then you will realise..

5).Samosa wala at ADA: There is one samosawallah in ADA who sits under thatched roof and provide Samosa on leaves of some tree is the best one i had in Alld.

6).Bati(Litti) Chokha at Highcourt:(This is quiet popular) Under the shade of big banyan tree ,it has amazing taste and very big customers ranging from well known judges to lawyer to police et al.

7).Dehati's shop is small and old but it is registered by Govt. Very few shops in Alld are regitered and it falls into that elite club.

8).As told by Shiv Chat Bhandar , they are the first one to use token system for self service for getting Chat and Dahi Vada.

9). Scandal Revealed: Many of the book shops (dnt want to reveal the name) in Katra ask students to bring books in good condition and they will buy at good rates. This leads to mass stealing of books from college libraries and many of my friends too made thousand of money by stealing and selling books. Shops too made huge profits. I guess it is still going on there.

10). Rama Optician at civil lines dont take a penny for some small repairs , which  other shops charge too much.

Allahabad revisited...

Every city has its own charm and its own speciality. Language of a city is one of them. Some cities are known for their languages even. Like the over civilized language of Lucknow or Bhopal. So have the city Allahabad, its own style of language.
My four year of experience with Allahabad not only fetched me a degree of Engineering but also increased my vocabulary in hindi (or what language should i call it) which is spoken in Allahabad. Some slangs have fascinated me much and some has confused me. Sometime it was comedy of errors while experiencing it and sometime it caused me to have fight with other people.
Today i am going to discuss some such unique words/slangs which i believe many of you(specially my college friends) can relate with, alongwith the incidents which made me learn them. Also those ppl who never visited to city should know this for their better understanding.(esp girls ,as they should know what it means when someone on street tease them... )

Starting with common tone of most Allahabadi people. They use "BO" instead of "GE/GAY"(dont think weird).
KHABO instead of KHAOGE , CHALBO instead of CHALOGE , BOLBO instead of BOLOGE  and the list is countless. You can use it with any Verb and it works.

When i came initially (actually first time when i was going college hostel) in Allahabad , i sat in a auto (which had min capacity of 8 for seating but there is no upper limit...). While on the way Autowallah suddenly stopped at a point and came outside the auto. After sometime on inquiring why he stopped there he said "JHAM HAI". I thought he want to say "jam hai" relating it with usual traffic jam.But i couldnt see any rush or signal or anything which can cause jam. I asked him, other autos are going y dont you? He said "Engine garam ho gaya hai, pani dalna padega , bada JHAM HAI". U can guess now what it means. (meaning : Problem,argument  tone: negative).

Relating with auto travel experience there are two more words.
Towards more village area side of city, there can be found big old Auto's  mostly crowded with village people. People use to call it "Ganesh". As it has a big trunk like structure in front of it. (meaning : Big old auto)

We often pay toll tax at some given place to some authority(for newly constructed road or bridge) that we use.
Here the tax that we give and the place where it is given both are called as "CHUNGI".(meaning : toll tax that we give to the road authority.)

The very first day in my hostel i was being ragged by my seniors , since i was feeling a bit awkward, i had given some answers rudely. "Jada BAKAITI mat pelo." was the words i heard from them constantly after that. I related this with DAKAITI(means Robbery ). I asked them what i've stolen or robbed theirs? Then a ragged mate of mine said they are saying dont give so much "dealing" or talk too much. Many classmates used to tell me he is big "BAKAIT" means one who speaks too much(usually to show himself superior).A bakait word in real sense is not good.(meaning:one who talks too much,   tone:negative )
Also i want to discuss a word "BHOKAL" over here. "Tera bada BHOKAL hai be." I heard people saying it in my class. And BHOKALI refers to a person having this BHOKAL (sturdyness) in him.(meaning: having big influnce, sturdy    tone:negative/positive)

Since our college was in outskirts of city, with village area all around, we had friendship with some of the village people. In one of their local Panchayat elections they sought our help in their election compaign. We had to go along the main leaders vehicle and shout a slogan "PAPPU ki TEMPO high hai,PAPPU hamara bhai hai." Although I was shouting it aloud but wasnt aware what it meant for having "High Tempo". Later on other village people told me what it mean.(meaning: having high moral    tone:positive )

Once i gone to a shopkeeper and asked for something, he replied "NAINA"!!  I asked again, he again said "NAINA". I was confused what he was saying. Naina means eyes usually , i thought he is singing something or what... eventually asking him again he said "Bola na Naina, bar bar kahe ko mang ke time barbad karte ho" (told you many times i dont've,dont wast my time.) Now you can guess the meaning.With time people have devised some shortform words which is combination of 2 or more words. (meaning: Dont've , No)

Now coming over to some tapori(loafer) side of language.(help taken from many of my Alld friends...)
Maru Maal : (meaning: boys while reffering to girls having deadly beauty   tone:please decide yourself)
Kanto Item : (meaning : boys while reffering to girls having tremendous beauty  tone:please decide yourself)
Kantaap Item : (meaning: same as above)
Kantaal Item/Maal : (meaning: same as above)
Kantaap : (meaning: Sharp slap under ears  tone:negative/positive)
Ardab : (meaning: Threatening/sturdy  tone: negative).

I know there are many more but right now i can remember this much only. With time i may add some more words, and your help is always expected, kindly comment , ping or mail me more words, so that i can complement my blog.

United College Of Enormous Rampage (UCER)

Before going any further request you to please undergo the below links having slideshow and  information of something that happened in our college last month.

http://khabar.ibnlive.in.com/news/37558/3#view_gallery
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/rampage-in-allahabad-engg-college-after-students-death/659278/1

I dont know whether it was right or wrong for the students to do so but one of my friend (who is a girl and happened to be my batchmate..) said finally there are some real brave and gutsy boys , who know how to awake the managemnet and ask for justice. In our times all boys were dumb and idiots. Had nothing to do other than doing timepass in college.

I wondered what to say and what not, I mean this was done as a furiousness caused due to a student's death. No such cases happeed when we were there. Also to raise a voice against managemnet one has to have the support of all people no matter boys or girls. I guess most of the girls will not have supported the boys if such thing have been happend , and also there arises a question why all revolt is expected from boy's side.? And here even the girls were involved this time in whatever rampage happened. They have done it in their own gurilla style by masking their faces.
Anyways i am not here to put any allegations to anybody or talking in favour of boys or girls, although you can put your comment over that.

Check the video link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DzTjLKJe8w&feature=player_embedded#

My worry is "What all had happened was a right step by students? Will it not affect their own career in long run? Cant there be any other peaceful way of protest or They have done it right to send the right message to deaf Management?"